Challenging Negative Thoughts About Yourself

Thoughts

We have thousands of thoughts every single day.

Some of those thoughts are neutral, some positive, some helpful and some are very unhelpful for us, especially the negative thoughts that come up from your inner critic.

So what to do?

You do not have to believe everything you think and you can choose another thought, a higher thought that is in alignment with who you really are; love. You see, you are not your thoughts and you are not just your mind. As The Power of Now explains, you are a being behind those thoughts. And when you become aware of your own thoughts, you can begin to challenge those negative self thoughts.

The importance of doing this work, is because a same thought over and over again creates a belief. And that belief has a huge impact on our lives. A constant negative thought about yourself will lead you to believe that about yourself, if you believe in the thought, and thus it affects your reality and  your life.

Let’s give you an example…

  1. Thought comes up in me saying “oh my god I look so fat and disgusting today”.
  2. Me (being) acknowledges the thought and is like oh thanks for that one, really helpful… (note the sarcasm).
  3. Me (being) chooses not to believe that thought.
  4. Me (being) chooses a higher thought (from a place of love)… “I recognise that my mind is trying to attach our self worth to our size here. I know that my self worth is not determined by my size or shape or the amount of fat that happens to be on my body. I want to thank my body for being so freaking awesome and keeping me alive in this life. I am worthy”.
  5. Feels empowered and moves on with life…

(Note: you can simply move on at step 3, but I find it is helpful to reinforce a positive belief with a new higher thought).

Old Lauren in her early 20s may have reacted in a different way:

  1. Thought comes up in me saying “oh my god I look so fat and disgusting today”.
  2. Takes thought as gospel and believes it to be true.
  3. Thinks “what are we going to do about this? Should I cut my calories, should I run more? Ugh everyone must think I am so fat, ugly and disgusting”.
  4. Takes action to make my body smaller and reinforces the belief that I am “fat and disgusting”.
  5. Is very unhappy and the cycle repeats.

You see the huge difference between these two scenarios?

When you become the watcher of your thoughts, you can choose which ones to believe and which to acknowledge as untrue. And if it is helpful, you can re-frame those thoughts to be from a place of love and create new self beliefs which are from a place of truth and love.

Doing this work is tricky to begin with and it does take constant work each day. But the more and more you align to thoughts that are your highest thought (in love), the more your thoughts will be like that. When you choose not to believe in the negative thoughts and not give them power, it gives you so much freedom.

And just to note…even when you have got this shit down, you will still get weird/wacky/negative thoughts sometimes. That is totally normal. It is what you then do with those thoughts that matters. I am pretty sure even the Dalai Lama gets odd or negative thoughts, but I am also pretty sure he doesn’t let them drag him down or create negative behavioural patterns. He would just let them be there and move on.

What thoughts can you challenge today?

Choosing Love Over Fear

Love over fear

Although there were many happy times, I lived in fear for most of my life. Post a happy beginning to my childhood, from the age of about 9 to 21, my life was a constant game of fear, control, anxiety, self hate, sabotage, people pleasing and worry.

From the age of 21-23 I still swam around in fear, but I had woken up and was starting to make positive changes in my life.

23-25, I was making big changes and shifts and striving to choose love over fear in every moment.

Age 26, where I am now, is when it is really truly sunk in that we must keep choosing love over fear in every moment we possibly can.

First, that love must start with ourselves. We must be our own best friend. We must love ourselves, for all of ourselves, even if we have imperfections and shadows that still need transforming into love. We must love and accept ourselves for who we are now, warts and all. We are all work in progresses; love it all.

Then that love must continue with others and the world around you. You see the world is in a pickle and many of the reasons behind this, are decisions and actions made in fear and as a result of fear. In order for us to transform the world we must choose love and forgiveness. We must drop from a headspace and into a heart space.

How can we do that?

It is in your reaction. Like I said in this Instagram post, it is in our reactions. We cannot control everything that happens to us in our lives. But with what does happen in our lives, we can control our reaction. Do we want to react in peace and love? Or do we want to react with fear, hate and more negativity?

With the world the way it is right now, I ask you to explore the ways in which you can choose love today.

How can you love and accept yourself more?

How can you forgive yourself more?

How can you love and accept others more?

How can you forgive others more?

Can you complain less and have more gratitude?

Can you withhold self judgement and judgement of others?

Can you stop criticising yourself harshly and others harshly?

Where can you shine more love?

I know this can seem a bit simplistic given the state of current affairs. And what would a privileged Western girl know about real fear?

Well, I believe that we can’t have peace on our planet until we have peace in all of our homes, in all of our hearts, with each other and within our selves.

How can we expect people to forgive such massive horrors and atrocities if we can’t even forgive ourselves for our mistakes, forgive our friends and families for mistakes or really bloody love ourselves?

Think about that and think about where you can choose love over fear today.

I am not saying it is easy either, it takes constant work and moment to moment awareness and choice. Girlfrand over here can still get tied up in fear. I can still get defensive and let my temper rise and bite poor Johnny’s head off, I can still berate myself for not meeting a self set expectation, I can still make decisions out of fear. I am human. The difference is that I am committing to this work. I am committed to choosing love over fear. And the more and more I do it, the more and more I am able to choose love quicker. The more and more I choose love, the more I can re-correct my choice to love even if I have chosen fear moments previously. I know that if I can do this, you can do it too. I have swam in fear for a long, long time and I know that moment to moment choosing love over fear is the only way to move forward for us all to move forward.

Love or fear. We have the choice. Let’s choose love.

Do you find it hard to choose love sometimes? Do you feel like you could work on this too?

A Letter To My Body

Trust

Dear Body,

I want to apologise.

I am sorry. I am truly sorry for the way I have treated you in the past.

I am sorry for hating you.

I am sorry for hating your size and your shape.

I am sorry for thinking you were hideous to look at.

I am sorry for starving you.

I am sorry for stuffing you with food when you begged me to stop.

I am sorry for binging into you and purging out of you.

I am sorry for forcing you to exercise when you didn’t want to or have the strength to.

I am sorry for punishing you.

I am sorry for poisoning you over and over again with a ridiculous amount of alcohol.

I am sorry for that one time I nearly killed you with party drugs.

I am sorry for denying you of your needs.

I am sorry for believing that you were not worthy.

I am sorry.

I have changed now though and seen the error of my ways.

I commit to.

I commit to loving you hard.

I commit to serving your every need.

I commit to nourishing you with food that you guide me to eat that is best for us to thrive, without judging what it is.

I commit to moving you in a way that you guide me to, when you want me to, in a way that feels good.

I commit to listening to your signals of when things are not right and I commit to listening to what you want me to do to rectify things.

I commit to loving and accepting every part of you.

I commit to loving and accepting every part of you that changes over the course of this life.

I commit to giving you what you need to feel your best so we can live our purpose in this life.

I commit to not judging you.

I trust you body.

And I know that now you can trust me.

I thank you for always loving me when I all I did was hate you. I thank you for never giving up on me. I thank you for forgiving me like I have forgiven myself.

I am so grateful for everything you do for me, day in and day out. I am so grateful for the magical and incredible ways you work to keep us alive and thriving so we can go out and live our life and be of service.

You are amazing.

All my love,

Lauren

What would you say in a letter to your body?